Heh, warning, it's been awhile since I've bothered to blog about anything so you might want to grab a snack for this one.

So... who's Katy Perry? I'm not that old, but she really doesn't trip any triggers for me. Other than hearing the name, I really have no clue, nor care, who she is, what she does, how she dresses, or who wants to date her. Really. Don't care. Actually, there isn't any actor/actress, singer/songwriter, etc that EA could theme an EP after that would get more than a "hmph" from me. Yeah, I can be a wet noodle sometimes but c'mon EA, do your own thing. Basically what the Katy Perry theme news says to me is "We here at EA predict that the upcoming Showtime EP will suck so horribly that we felt we needed to try an emergency tactic of glazing over the suckiness by offering tacky, real-world, charmless content in hopes nobody will notice how little we actually put into this ourselves."

So yeah, color me unamused. I've got my copy pre-ordered, as usual, but there just isn't anything in this one for me. However, if you miss an EP, your game does odd things, doesn't work right, and their patches do nothing but make it worse. For my son, skipping EPs has resulted in his game becoming a bonfire you can see from space. The only way to fix it was to get all the EPs. So, Showtime is ordered for patching and compatibility purposes. Woo. Because really, we all want an EP with crap in it that is really leftover, unfinished crap that should've been in the Late Night EP, and probably Ambitions. The celebrity thing never made sense to me anyway because there isn't anything for our sims to really do that's impressive or worth being a celebrity for. Oh, you go to work every day. Yay for you! That justifies stalker fans and a butler. Better put that huge, ugly gate out there with a spikey fence around the entire perimeter of that little plot you call home because them big baddies are out there to steal your fame and fortune. You wild and crazy gravedigger, you. Or the bookstore clerk, spa specialist, wacky stylist downtown, whatever. I guess you could be in the "acting" thing but noone ever sees you on their TV. Heck no! The Sims 2 is MUCH more interesting to watch than what your sims of today actually do in their own jobs and lives. But now, with the Showtime EP, we can actually make our sims do celebrity-worthy activities that will still interest noone. At least that "go down in flames" option will go unnoticed.

And for the life of me, wait, let me get into character here... ahem...lalalalalalala... Maker's breath! Why can't EA get someone to write the details for the new Showtime EP that didn't write the publicity nonsense for Dragon Age II? By Andraste's flaming sword, people out there are ready to kill for jobs and they have the nerve to recycle marketing tripe for one of their other games, which, by the way, was also a huge failure. Honestly! You sons of a tied down... sod it... nug's uncle... cheaper than an Antivan whore... standing there, wide-eyed, like a brainless calf... and don't you forget that swooping is bad!

Ok, I'm done. Not blogging, just ranting, about that, I think. And pretty much all of that is from DA Origins because DA2 had nothing going for it. The underwear in Origins was even better. So were the sex scenes. What the heck do they think we play these games for? To get the good stuff our real lives lack. Life is always better if you make it up. Jeez, where did these people go to school at, a cloister?

Ok, ok, I'll stop. For a little while. On another note, I have been doing new lots but have just lacked the ambition to upload them here. I just don't feel like resizing all my screenshots to the new requirements and heck, I don't even feel like going in and scrolling around my lots to get the shots. I dunno. Something just isn't there for me to care. Nice lots though. Shame I'm too lazy, er, busy with real world activities, to share.

Now onto my gameplay review (rant). I've been saving up for you folks. Actually, I just haven't been much for communicating with the world the last few months and now that my foot is finally healed (12 very long, miserable weeks), my blood remains unclotted, and my life is again back in my own hands (although I'm sure lightning will strike me now that I've written this) I can get back to finding a job or getting my business up and running. I'm so out of the loop though so I have a lot of catchup yet to do and I was in the process of organizing my office for a new career when my foot snapped too, so I have to finish that. Really, I was on the verge of greatness when I was smited by fate, again. I am still simming, but it's starting to be restricted because of real life. Argh *shakes fist at real life*! But anyway, let me ramble on about my game for a bit and I'll be happy.

So, Pets, how's it hangin'? Scratch that. Um, so...anyone strike a heroic pose lately? Yep, I can. Well, my sim can, with his trusty steed. I've decided my horseman is really just a horse pimp. Yeah buddy. Putting that stallion up for stud. But seriously, why is there such a long waiting period? Animals can have sex all day long, just like everybody else. Sheesh. I'm really surprised there isn't bush sex, pond sex, garage sex, under the back porch sex for animals. They just do it anywhere. Just watch National Geographic episodes. Oh, that might date me. Well we did when I was a chitlun! This nonsense needing a special "house" or place for them is just... well... nonsense! My parents get a fresh litter of kittens in their alley a few times a year and it's not because Ma and Pa cat were committed and romantic one night. Sheesh. Fairytales. Our sims don't need a special place, really. I mean, it's just plain common sense to do it in the treehouse, where your innocent children have feasts and dream of knights on white horses. Or in a haystack the horse regurgitated in. Or in bed, anyone's bed, even the neighbor's. And everyone loves good clean fun in the hot tub and shower! Don't mind that it's a public shower, in the local gym, at 2 a.m. And now we know what that smell is in the elevator at the apartment complex down the street.

I want to know, has anyone at EA ever had a cat? Because we've all been told cats own people, we don't own cats. This is true. Cats could give a crap less. They sit on you when they want to sit on you, where they want to sit on you, and when they want to sit on you. Cats don't need social. If they want it, they come and get it. Social to a cat is rubbing on your legs when you come home from work. They don't need much. If they do they let you know by plopping on your hands as you try to type that last email of the night, or chase the lasers across your monitor when you're online with the guys playing some mindless shooter, or jumping out from behind the shower curtain for a funny surprise when you're taking a poo on the loo. But basically they'd prefer to spend their time snoozing in the sunbeams from the window, which sim cats do not. And where's the "play with litter" interaction? Hmmm...? What cat doesn't play with its own turds caked in litter? And where's the catnip toys? And why can't cats sleep on your sim's head? Don't your cats sleep on your head? My son's cat sits on his face when he wants to wake him up. We are their pets. Resistance is futile. Why don't they sleep on top the TV? Attack the stereo? Or play in the kitchen sink? I just don't see sim cats doing the wacky stuff real cats do. They're kind of boring. But much better than the dogs. The dogs are plain stupid. They make better rocks than dogs. Mostly what mine do are block the routing of my sim. Either by sleeping in front of the fridge, standing in a doorway glassy-eyed, tail wagging, or following so close they merge with the sim as fur slippers that impede progress totally. Or the best is when I tell them to guard the house and they dutifully watch the burglar break in, wake the family, and then when the cops show up, they bark wildly and watch the fight. So much for a guard dog. Doggie, bite the bad man. He's wearing black with stripes. That's bad. And he thinks he's a racoon, those are also bad. Bite the bad doggie, bite the bad.

Horses aren't too annoying. They require little care and pretty much amuse themselves with that horrid ball. The happy horse ball? Are you serious? I have my sim winning races and putting him up for stud to make money. Not a bad racket. Pretty leisurely. If I wanted to bother with babies I guess I could get him a mare and do that too. I'm not really a horse person so I don't get too into it. I just wanted to try the new profession. I like my sims to do stuff from home. They lead happier lives working from home. I do know that sim horses are way LESS work than real ones. If you have horses they're your life. I can't say I've ever seen my aunt's playing with a giant ball though. She has other crap they'll kick around. They usually enjoy kicking their owners over playing with tin cups or balls. It would be kind of cool if EA would add a buggy to the game. Then our sims could take the whole family out for a stroll. The eco-friendly sims would love that. And notice that gardeners can use horse manure but that there is actually no manure in the game. I guess all those heaping piles of steaming waste would be unsightly. Maybe that would be too real for EA. Because we all know sex in the shower, bed, or tent never happens. Ah, fairytale dreams.

Woohoo makes the world go 'round.